claritylit's Diaryland Diary


can stand up, will stand up

It's raining again. I had soup for dinner again. And I'm back at d-land again.

As much as I love my livejournal for its ease of updating and fantabulous icons, I miss the thought I used to put into my diary entries. Each entry feels more important, more weighty; I can't just pop in and do a gratuitous entry and pop back out again.

Lots of stuff has happened since the last time I did a serious update, in February. I don't particularly want to go into it. Let's start fresh.

This new school year is only four days old. Thursday, I was completely worn out. I was so tempted to not teach -- to just sit around and let the kids do what they wanted. I resisted. It was hard, because the last class of the day is big and unruly. It's incredibly draining to exert control over that class. It's like I have to draw energy from somewhere deep in my body and push it out and around each student in the classroom.

I'm naturally introverted, so that energy doesn't get replenished from interacting with people. I definitely work for the weekend.

But Thursday, I kept repeating to myself part of Buffy speech from the final episode. Someone posted it in a community, and part of it stuck with me. Every girl who could have the power, will have the power. Can stand up, will stand up. ... Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?

Can stand up, will stand up. Are you ready to be strong?

I totally kicked that class's ass.

9:09 pm - August 14, 2004


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